Being a trucking spouse or having a trucker as a spouse isn’t easy. Life over the road, away from loved ones, is stressful. Having your spouse away for long stretches of time is just as stressful.
Besides both partners feeling lonely, we can feel disconnected from the other. Just like in any relationship, resentments can form and build up. Little things become big things. Our relationships aren’t healthy when we’re not on the same page with the other.
Here are a few tips that can help maintain a healthy trucking marriage.
Trust is Key
From the start, you both need to trust each other. Not only to be faithful but also that you both have each other’s best interest in mind. It’s really a team attitude.
For example, sometimes decisions need to be made at home, and you’re busy on the road and unavailable to give input. You need to trust that your spouse made the best decision – even if you disagree with it. It’s impossible, and unhealthy, to micromanage from the 2000 miles away. Both people need to be part of the team.
It’s only going to get worse if there are trust issues before you start your trucking career.
Communication While on the Road
Open communication is vital to any relationship. Truckers and their spouse’s need to put a little more effort into communications than most. Being physically separated is a bit of an obstacle. Plus, a trucking schedule tends to be a little crazy and you and your spouse’s schedule might not sync up.
You should have the goal to communicate every day. Some days that might not work out but it’ll work out most days if that’s the goal – and you make the effort. We have a driver who sends a funny meme on a chat app to his wife every morning. Some days that might be the only communication they have. But with the proper effort, they speak most days he’s on the road and most days several times.
Technology can be very helpful to stay connected. Gone are the days of looking for a payphone to use a calling card. There are apps and services that allow you to connect via text, video, and send pictures etc. Check out – Have You Seen These 4 Apps to Stay Connected with Your Trucker.
Know What Each Other is Doing
Take an interest. For the trucker on the road, know what your spouse is up to. Between work & hobbies you’ll have plenty to talk about. Share your day on the road with your spouse. Sure, it may be boring most days but that was your day. And it doesn’t hurt to have your own hobbies and interests to chat about.
For the truckers spouse, learn about trucking. Trucking is more a lifestyle than a traditional job. Learn about what your trucking spouse has to deal with. Plus, a rational, less emotional, point of view can add perspective on some trucking issues. People outside of a situation are usually less emotionally affected by it and can bring a helpful perspective.